What Do I Want

There’s so many questions
I didn’t have the answers to
For so long
And it seems strange
To answer them now.

That’s what this is though,
Maturation, growing older,
Growing responsible,
Outlining and defining
Who I am,
Knowing the answers
Instead of guessing at them.

And after searching
And tracing back roots
And boiling all the detail away,
It’s this:

I want to not feel alone.

Everything else is just detail
And situation
And experience
Dependent.
The list seems endless:
I want to be understood.
I want shared experiences,
To learn from
And look back on.
I want to help and protect,
As there are times
When I need the same.
I want to see the beauty
That lives in a dreary world.
I want to have a family,
Who I know I can rely on
And who can rely on me.
I want to keep figuring myself out
When I see parts of me
In someone else.
I want to make sure
That everyone I care for
Knows I will always be here,
Arms open,
Compassion and counsel
At the ready.

My life is defined
By the relationships I make.
This family of odds and ends,
Wherever they are
Is my home.
I keep going for them,
On this journey of self-discovery,
For without them,
I would be
Truly,
Alone.

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